“Communication is a science, not an art”, said my son. “Why not art?”, I inquired. Without a blink, he responded, “Because art should be beautiful and meaningful.”
The words uttered by a 13-year-old boy on a casual Tuesday afternoon started a deep conversation on how we communicate and why is so important to learn how to. All of this was sparked by a book I’m reading, “If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face? My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating” by Alan Alda. (I know, a long title, worth saying it and reading the book by the way).
He is correct, art should be beautiful. Beauty is subjective. It is a personal perception. But to learn to create something beautiful and for it to strike a positive impact on someone is an art.
I remember in school learning about communication, a receptor and a transmitter, the channel, the code and the message. Basic. What we were not taught, or perhaps I did not pay attention then, was how to “really” communicate. Not just convey a message but to understand what is being said.
Yes, we understand what is being said. But, are we really or we already have it assumed on our minds what the other person is trying to say?
As our conversation continued, and we went back and forth, we felt connected.
What Look Do You Have on Your Face?
In his book, Alan Alda identifies empathy and learning to understand the other person’s thinking as the keys to a good communication. I have to agree. Having empathy, not only while we communicate but in everything we do, opens the door to a happy and fulfilling life.
While I have only read 1/4 of it, the book has already influenced me in a positive way. The look on my face is going to be of caring. Because I care about the people I talk to, I am not only going to listen with my ears but with my heart as well. Communication is not only of speaking is also listening. Sometimes, no words need to be spoken.
Today, communication proved to be an art and a science. Mr. Alda gave us a topic to bond about.
For a brief period of time, we spoke not imposing our point of views, but understanding each other side… we created art. We dance a beautiful waltz of words. We talked without constraint. Even more, free of judgment. Respecting thoughts, not age. For a moment, a mother and a son were equals.
How do you communicate? Do you really listen to what others are saying? This is an engrossing topic, especially for the relevance it has on our, every day, life. Leave me a comment below, I would love to hear what you have to say about it.
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16 comments
Isn’t it lovely when you see your child develop their own thoughts and mind, and to be able to discuss something so profound with each other as equals – that’s so special. Thank you for sharing that moment, Edel. As a teacher, I have always taught my students to really listen to each other and even though I know the benefits of truly listening to the other person, it’s not an easy task, as we do tend to put our own perspective on what they are saying. This post is a necessary reminder for us all to listen and understand the other person’s perspective, with empathy and without judgement. Thank you.
Thank you, Michelle. It was special. I crave those moments with my boy, as he grows older they are fewer.
We may not give communication its rightful place, we take it for granted. And from the moment we learn to talk communication is the key to our development. Hopefully, we change that and our kids have a better shot at expressing themselves better.
Thank you for reading! =)
It was special. I love that we are able to bond this way. Thank you for teaching listening, it is not an easy task for sure. Have a great day, Michelle!
Have to read this book! Just finished The Hate U Give . Keep the recommendations coming! ❤️
Thank you, Sharon! I have that book on my TBR, which seems to get longer and not shorter. Happy reading!
What a great metaphorical piece!! Love it. Reminds me of the book “right words at the right time”
Thank you! I have to look into that book. =)
Empathy is key on communication as this affects your response entirely. Sounds like you have a very curious and wise child for his age. Keep nurturing it, Momma but so far looks like you are off to a good start in raising a well educated man.
Thank you, Nessly. May God gives me the necessary wisdom and strength to raise him well through his teen years.
I love this, Edel! And it is so very true. I taught my kids all of these things. And the fact that a comment sparked a deep conversation with your son is awesome. I homeschooled my three children so we spent a lot of our time in deep discussion/communication. And now that they’re adults, we still do. Funny, they always tell me how people are always amazed at the depth of communication that comes from them. It’s such an important thing. Anyway, I’m rambling. Sorry.
Love your article! Love you!
I homeschool too! I believe the one on one time we have with them, challenge them to develop their thinking. They don’t just accept what’s told, but question it and look for answers. You should share your homeschool experience!!!
I had a boss that used to tell new employees that the best way to get and keep a client was to listen to what the client says with both ears and speak once, God gave us 2 ears and one mouth, listen first and speak after.
Wise man your boss, Tracy. We can learn to be mindful. Thanks for reading!
Communication is so important and it’s sad really that it is not used and as effectively as it should be, especially in relationships. My ex husband used to call it “the C word”. He’s an ex for a reason lol
I am a good listener, lol. So I listen to what people want to say. You have an awesome young man, good job mama!
I am on my computer/phone a lot for my day job but I work from home. I have been making a point to mindfully put down the technology when my kids are talking to me. Physically taking my hand off the computer mouse or setting my phone down in order to be more engaged in listening.